


Oh the Places You'll Sneeze

by FallzVentus



Series: MadHouse Tavern [21]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Ender Eye Au, Gen, Hijinks, Magic, Sneezing, Teleportation, based on artwork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 16:48:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11361534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallzVentus/pseuds/FallzVentus
Summary: Ryan has been enjoying having an Ender Pearl as an eye. Despite the warnings he received, nothing has proven those to fruition. Now the summer is in full swing and he couldn't be happier to lead his people. If only those allergies didn't cause such chaos.Based on an artwork by samijen. Link in ending notes





	Oh the Places You'll Sneeze

**Author's Note:**

> yes that is the best title I could come up with. I couldn't help the Dr. Seuss pun. I know this AU is usually filled with angst, but it doesn't mean it can't have its light hearted moments. I hope you all enjoy this.

Ryan yawned as he slowly sat up in his bed. The air within the room was stuffy and the king could feel the sweat from the night before as he slept. He knew it was a sign that the summer season has finally begun. His kingdom did tend to have unforgiving summers on some days. He finds it a blessing that this heat was as delayed as it was. He stretched his back and rubbed his eyes to fully awaken them. The world looked clearer than ever. He smiled and made his way out of bed. He began to make his way towards his window as someone knocked on the door. 

“Enter,” he said as he opened the window. A servant walked in and bowed. 

“Good morning my king. Your bath has been prepared for you,” they said and Ryan nodded. 

“I will be right t-” He paused as he felt his nose begin to twitch. The pollen floating in the wind must have gotten into his nose. He waited patiently for the build up in his nose to release. He quickly closed his eyes as a sneeze erupted from him. He sniffled and then smiled. “As I was saying, I’ll be right th-” 

Ryan’s eyes widened as he turned around. The servant was no longer there. Neither was the room he slept in last night. He was standing in an entirely different room. It looked like a common room of anyone who lived in the common area of the kingdom. He ran over to the window to see that his castle in the distance. He gave a sigh of relief. He was at least still in his own kingdom. Where in his kingdom was still a question very present in his mind. Well, at least until the door to the bedroom opened. 

“Ryan?! What are you doing here?” a female voice said. He turned around to see Vix in her tavern uniform with a very confused look on her face. He gave an awkward smile. 

“I’m trying to figure that out myself actually,” he said. Vix sighed and ran a hand through her hair. 

“Okay; let’s start with how you got here in the first place.” 

“I would love to answer you Vix, but I honestly don’t know-” Ryan said before another sneeze appeared within his nose. He released it and sniffled again. “Sorry, I-” 

His eyes widened as he found himself in yet another different location. This time he was in the middle of the marketplace. Everyone around him stopped to look at him in pure confusion. It wasn’t everyday that a king appeared out of thin air. Ryan gave an awkward wave before he quickly ran out of the sight of the public eye. He stood in an alley and ran a hand through his hair. 

“Okay; so I’m only teleporting around the kingdom, which is good. But why am I-” he started. Then another sneeze was released and he found himself inside the tavern. The Vagabonds looked in shock as the man they followed suddenly appeared. Before anyone could say anything, he sneezed again and found himself in the knights training yard. He quickly ducked out of the way as two training swords clashed right above his head. The captain came running towards him. 

“My king, what are you-” he started. 

“Get every magician in the castle. Now!” 

The captain nodded and started giving orders to his men. Ryan felt another sneeze coming, but held his nose in order to delay it. 

This ends now. 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sami, Fallz, and Gater looked at their disgruntled king in pure amazement. Not a single magician was able to stop him from teleporting every time he sneezed. So far the king has been to the tavern at least three times, the stables, farms, Edgar’s hole, multiple rooms belonging to the Vagabonds, and the dungeons filled with prisoners. His allergies finally calmed down enough for him to take his bath and get dressed. He just so happened to sneeze into the throne room. Gater decided that a binding spell should keep him in the room for now. It was successful, but now Ryan would teleport all around the room. He even ended up in mid air and landed into his throne. He looked to Fallz. ‘

“Please tell me that university education of yours tells you how to stop this,” he said straightening himself in his throne. Fallz shook her head. 

“Even the classes I took on magic says nothing about this. You’re lucky Gater’s binding spell confines you to this room even with teleportation,” she replied. 

“Gater, how do you know such a spell anyway? I thought you were a healer.” 

“Not every patient I get is willing to stay still Ryan,” Gater replied. The king groaned. 

“Can we at least figure out the cause of this madness?! I’m getting sick and tired of not being able to stay in one place for five se-” Ryan sneezed again and ended up falling to the floor in the far corner of the room. Sami sighed. 

“I have a theory, but it’s going to result in me saying ‘I told you so’,” she said looking at the ruler with a semi annoyed look. Ryan sneezed again and appeared before their feet. 

“Just share your theory, Sami,” he said and Sami pointed directly to the ender pearl he used as an eye. 

“You said so yourself that an ender pearl is used for teleportation. It’s most likely being jostled every time you sneeze and sending you in a random direction. It’s reasons like this why I said using it as an eye was a bad idea!” Ryan stood up and brushed himself off. 

“We don’t know for certain it’s the eye. Some annoying magician probably placed a curse on me.” 

“If it was a curse, the magicians who were here earlier would have dispelled it by now,” Gater pointed out. 

Ryan groaned as he held his nose to delay yet another sneeze. Before the Vagabonds could reprimand him on not taking precautions about the ender pearl, the doors opened to reveal Destiny walking in with a basket. The pale woman smiled as she bowed before the king. 

“Good day, King Ryan. I’ve heard that you’re facing a dilemma from one of the guards,” she said as she stood up straight. 

“Dilemma could not even describe the terrible day this is turning out to be.” 

“I may have the solution to your problem if what the knight described is correct.” Destiny showed the basket to Ryan and revealed it to be filled with green berries. The Vagabonds in the room looked at the berries in confusion. “They are grown around Ahila. The seers sent these with us as well. They can help with your teleportation problem.” 

Fallz and Sami were weary of Ryan eating the fruit, but he was going to take any chance he could to stop this teleportation nonsense. He took a handful of the berries and popped them into his mouth. As he chewed, the pearl in his eye socket grew a little lighter. It was as if it was truly one with his body. The Vagabonds looked at him curiously as he swallowed the berries. 

“Well?” Gater asked. 

“I don’t feel any different. Are you sure this wi-” Ryan started before letting out a loud sneeze. It was the loudest one he gave all day. He was prepared to open his eyes and find himself in a different area of the room. However, when he opened his eyes, he was still standing in front of the Vagabonds as he was before. He couldn’t help the gigantic grin coming across his face. 

“I’m still standing here! Thank the gods this nightmare is finally over,” he proclaimed. Destiny smiled. 

“As your follower stated, it was because of the ender pearl, however it wasn’t because it jostled as theorized. It was because the body was rejecting it. Those berries help the body realized the pearl is not an anomaly.” 

“I am indebted to you again. Are you sure you won’t accept some type of reward?” Destiny shook her head. 

“The future these events will bring is reward enough, my- your majesty.” Ryan smiled and hugged the woman. 

“Thank you so much. We will hold a feis tonight in celebration of this nightmare being over. Gater, if you would.” Gater nodded and walked up to Ryan to remove the binding spell she placed. Fallz and Sami walked to the other side of the room. 

“You getting a bad feeling from all this too?” Fallz asked and Sami nodded. 

“The Ender Pearl you give the king causes chaos and yet you have the only solution to it? I don’t buy it. They’re up to something. Should we warn Ryan?” Fallz shook her head in frustration. 

“He’s too happy about the teleportation coming to an end and being able to see. We’re better off warning the others. Did your research come up with anything?” Sami nodded. 

“I might have an idea of where the runes came from. I just need to look into it a little more. You?” 

“Those arrows match. There aren’t runes on the first one, but the craftsmanship matches. And since the runes on the one arrow match that box....” 

“You’re guessing either those girls are lying about where they’re from or those runes are from Ahila?” 

“Yup.” Fallz leaned on the wall and watched as Destiny happily talked with the king. “I really don’t like this. Maybe we should go to Ahila to confirm what they’re saying.” 

“That sounds like a good idea. I’ll let you know when I’m ready to go. I still want to do a little more research.” 

Fallz nodded and started to walk back to the group as Ryan signaled them to join in the festivities. The teleportation had to be an omen, but for once she really hoped she was wrong. 

-TBC-

**Author's Note:**

> As stated in the summary, this fic is based on a piece of fanart by the amazing samijen. Here's the link to the artwork: 
> 
> http://samijen.tumblr.com/post/157858196126/when-he-sneezes-he-teleports 
> 
> Next: Revelations


End file.
